The moment came, and the moment went. At that instant, he was wounded. All his hopes gone he turned inward. With the addition of the pain and frustration from other events he exploded. Lashed out at everyone, anger was radiating off him. Instead of the paradise he sought to deliver, he became the snake that took it away.

The inevitable happened, conflict. Sparked by insensitive comments, the fuse was lit. It did take him by surprise; that in itself was revelatory. He hardly noticed what he was doing till it filled those he cared for with hurt.

Walking away from the herd, he went through paradise looking for a place to reflect. He found it at the very end of the beach, a secluded retreat void of anyone. He sat and stared out to sea. The moon was full and its light reflected in the water. Looking up, the stars were out; the cool sea breeze touched his face.

He remembered a line from a book that he was reading that afternoon. It was from a prayer by St. Francis and it went “God, grant me strength to accept those things that I cannot change.” Then and there he felt peace. Before he knew it, he slept.

The next day the pain was still there, but hidden away in some back room one is meant to forget. The anger though, was gone. “No more” he said. He was tired of it all. Apologizing to those he hurt, they told him how they felt. He was ashamed of himself. Once again he told himself “no more.”

TITLE: THE SHADOW PROVES THE SUNSHINE - SWITCHFOOT

This confirmed his most dreaded moment. Proof was finally there. He has discussed this with his friend in detail before.

“You have to know that sooner or later it’s going to happen. I’m afraid you won’t be able to handle it.” That’s what his friend said.

He replied “I’m a pessimist. I’ve known all along that I wouldn’t make it. I’m still there just because I have nowhere to go anyway. I know I won’t amount to anything.”

But his friend’s words did ring true. Now as he finally faced the situation, he was shattered.

TITLE: SCAR TISSUE – THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS

So much of his power, so much he gave up. Gave it out like an unending stream of goodness. Unfortunately people abused it. Got so used to him being there whenever they needed him, they took him for granted. He never failed them, at least not to his knowledge.

As if coming out of a deep slumber, the thought of just stopping everything popped into his head. “It’s the only way to be safe. Disappear.”

"Such a simple solution." he thought. "Now if only implementing it were that easy."

TITLE: BLEED LIKE ME - GARBAGE

The tension of the cable threatened to snap under the immense pressure. He somehow knew this point would arrive despite whatever preparations were made. Thankfully he did have a plan “B”, though it was one he didn’t want to use.

Sensing the urge to do something, he spoke aloud and told himself “Do it man for your sake, lest you get dragged down to the bottom. It was doomed from the very start to fail.”

With a deep breath and his eyes closed; his finger moved to the button that was labeled “release”.  His mind raced with thoughts of what he’s done and what could have been. A groan from the cable pulled him out of his trance. Then he hit the button.

TITLE: SINK BENEATH THE LINE - INCUBUS

I feel the cogs turning. The time for the big fall I predicted a few months ago is drawing near. Signs are all around. Some even deliberately hidden from me; yet I see. I take solace in the fact that as I wait for the moment I know I dread, I can distract myself with the company of new friends. I’ve stated what I’ve felt; stated as a joke, yet undeniably true. The coming days will be trying, but I am prepared.

TITLE: FUTURE SAYS RUN - TONIC

Everything seems peachy on the outside. When I’m out and having fun, all is good. It’s when I’m alone or when my mind starts to think, that’s the problem. I don’t know where I am. I’m paranoid about the smallest of things; thinking that there are forces at work that I don’t see. I’m a conspiracy theory onto myself. I don’t ever seem to be satisfied with the reasons that are brought to bear. I have to tell myself “blank your mind”. You’ll live better.

TITLE: TWILIGHT WORLD – SWING OUT SISTER

Last Tuesday I was called by a friend to do a commercial. I haven’t recorded one for a while so I was naturally excited; even more when I found out what the concept was. As of the moment, I can’t disclose exactly what product the ad was for but I’ll share with you what I was doing that made it really fun.

The concept of the commercial is something ala “Stomp”. It had me playing different rhythms with  the cardboard box of an Apple G5 (I can really now say that I play cajon and that the music was made on a Mac), tin cans, bottle caps, and bottles. I’d record one after the other, creating layers of different rhythms (for all you drummers out there, think polyrhythms). The whole interesting thing was that I was able to get so many sounds out of these rudimentary instruments. I was playing with a huge grin on my face. Fun!

Now I just have to wait till the whole thing is mixed down and put together. The video portion of the commercial still has to be shot (we were saying that the on-screen talent better be able to mimic the patterns I was doing). Probably another month till I get to see the final product. Till then I want to hit something; anything. Maybe I’ll start with my desk.

TITLE: LET THE DRUMMER KICK – CITIZEN COPE

For the past few weeks we’ve been playing at this bar in Alabang Town Center called “Soma” (pronounced with a long O). It’s a small lounge that’s frequented by a mixed crowd. A percentage is ex-pats; de-stressing after work, and kids killing time before they head to their shift at a call center. The owner, Dre (I think that’s how he spells it), is an American who actually tends the bar. His dad drops in once in a while to make the place rowdy. It’s a bar that just feels laid back and is really a lounge in the proper sense.

Along with playing in Soma being comfortable, there’s just something with being in the South. The air just seems more refreshing. Maybe it’s because we’re from around the area. We’re naturally acclimatized to it. It’s also been a while since we’ve had a regular South gig. Here we’re relaxed. It also helps that we end at 1 A.M. at the latest.

Being in the South also brings out a different set of friends. We’ve been hanging out with a couple of new friends who’ve first seen us in Capone’s. We’ve become a close group that we’re always online or hanging out. Pretty similar to our Makati friends (they’re all so busy these days), we enjoy each others company. It’s a ritual that after Soma we all go over to Cable Car and get some grub. The proximity of our residences also promotes spur-of-the-moment gimmicks to drink in the middle of the night. Hopefully we get to merge the Makati and south groups at some point. Slowly we’re trying.

All in all Soma is turning out to be something special. It’s nice to be able to build something; whether it is a following or friendships. That hasn’t happened since Yaku.

TITLE: SOUTHERN COMFORT - WARRANT